The world has gone haywire and you either have no command or have very little power to change it. After reaching a certain point in life, you realize you have no control over the external world. But, among the labyrinth of reasonings, you have the power to control your inner world and build a pleasant, quiet, tranquil world for yourself.
Miracle has happened to people who have practiced self-control and self-possession. You probably already know the answer to this question but let me ask you this again just to let your mind ponder on it a bit more.
Do you think you can control other people behaviors?
No, Of course not.
You have no control over circumstances, people, their behaviors or attitude but, do you realize that you have the choice to control your own thoughts? You can select every single thought that pops up in your mind.
In fact, you must be thinking something at this moment right! Stop and ask yourself, is this a waste thought and draining the energy out of you or are you getting the positive vibe out of it?
Mastering your thoughts need practice but first, you need to unlearn some of your deeply rooted habits. You will need to stop looking for the answer to these questions right away because you will realize soon how frequently these questions arise in your mind every day and extract most of your energy.
How can they do this ??
Many of us have asked this question probably 100th times in our life. How could they do this inconceivable, unimaginable, highly immoral act? The point is they have done it, they can do it and they will keep doing it all the time, and you are not going to stop them from doing what they think is absolutely right.
Your definition of righteousness may not match with others. It’s you who has defined the boundaries for unacceptable things. And no one cares what definition do you have for certain terms. People will act the way they think is right and they will do it without realization because that’s how they have been nourished and fostered in their lives. Their actions and their decisions may offend you but it is very subtle to understand that they are fair in their position.
I have learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different — Anonymous
By contemplating over other’s action you are not just killing your time and energy but also limiting your focus. Focus on what is needed to be done to get things right and keep yourself under control. Chances are that it is going to work both ways. By focussing on your inner strength, you have not transmitted despicable energy towards others and you have also taken control of the situation. This will empower you and others at the same time.
How can they not understand me?
Don’t try to explain yourself to people. If they don’t get you, they don’t get you. Simple.
My mother finds it difficult to understand my father even after 35 years of their marriage. The truth is, you can never fully understand a person and neither you can expect others to understand you painstakingly.
As harsh as it may sound no one is capable of mirroring your mind and soul.
Many people will come in your life and few of them might find you incomprehensible. If they matter to you, make little effort by yourself to help them understand you better and stop begging everyone to understand you because
People only understand from their level of perception.
Rather that trying to woo everyone, by convincing, that they have mistaken you, just focus on being yourself. You have to learn to value yourself and be in love with yourself. Once you learn this, believe me, you will never be concerned about what others think of you.
How could they even think of me like that?
Yes, They will think a lot more or sometimes a way less about you. They might think anything they like and you can’t stop them. It doesn’t always have to do with you. Sometimes people will think less of you because that makes them feel better about themselves. It has nothing to do with you or your character. What other people think of you is none of your business. You have to grasp that people who criticize you secretly want to be like you.
You can’t control the outer world the only thing that is in your hand, is your own mind. It doesn’t matter what other think of you but it does matter what you think of yourselves. Your self-image should be honest. Listen to everyone what they have to say but allow no one to enter your restful kingdom. Believe in yourself.
The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday
Consider this, what would happen if you die tomorrow?
Just about hundreds of lives will come to know that you have ceased to live. Chances are that, eighty out of them will move on with their lives in next couple of days. Ten out of those twenty will mourn and talk about you little longer but eventually accelerate.
Rest ten people, which we call our inner circle, is gonna miss you real long. Love those ten people and care for them without expecting anything in return because they love you unconditionally. Other than your inner circle rest others are only temporary people in your life. They are in your life to play their role which is crucial. But, do not let yourself drift from who you are by other’s perception.
How could they ditch me?
When people are insecure and afraid they can do anything without consciously being aware of their action. People you think you are closed to may dupe you at the time of crisis. Your friends can turn against you. You can be cheated in your relationship, to say the least. The point is absolutely anyone can turn deceitful at any point of your life.
When you have broken heart, make an art. — Meryl Streep
But, can you blame them?
Well, It’s hard to vocalize.
But, let’s focus on what options do you have at hand.
Firstly, you have to minimize your expectations from others. Expectation keeps your affair healthy but too much expectation can destroy any relation. It is less likely for you to feel cheated if you expect less. Going beyond expectations will make you feel liberated and fulfilled.
Uncertainty can turn anyone into a monster but you have to empower yourself and imbibe this knowledge that your expectations might hurt you.
Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.
You have no control over the events happening in the outer world but, you can still keep your inner world undisturbed and in harmony, by understanding the deep concept of empowering self through changing the thought process. Your peace of mind is in your hand and you can have full control of it.
If we are meeting for the first time, I am Shimpy, just an another novice writer.